


the only miracle that mattered

by luciferloveschloe (clairefraserloves)



Series: 1k celebration [3]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e05 Detective Amenadiel, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26636722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairefraserloves/pseuds/luciferloveschloe
Summary: Prompt: I’ve been in love with you for years. + I called you at 2 a.m. because I need you.“Lucifer!”“Detective, I– I’m sorry, did I wake you?”The subtle strain in his voice made her sit up straighter immediately, wiped the smile from her face.“No, Lucifer, you didn’t actually. I was just going to– Nevermind. Is something wrong?““No, well– Yes. Detective, I– I need to talk to you. And I know you have no desire to see me right now, and I understand, I do, and it’s the middle of the night, I know, but I– I just need to.”His voice broke on his last words, and his obvious despair made her stomach twist. Had she done this?
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: 1k celebration [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790785
Comments: 37
Kudos: 314





	the only miracle that mattered

**Author's Note:**

> this is for @oh-mylordy. perfunctory BIG sorry because i'm literally the slowest writer ever.
> 
> fun fact: i initially wanted to write a 3x17 fix-it fic for this prompt, but then s5 came and i thought it fit perfectly with the ending of 5x05 as well. and @misabelthemiserable already wrote the perfect fix-it for this episode anyway (it's called 'lipstick', read it if you haven't already!)
> 
> just to be clear, i loved how they resolved the whole miracle issue, i just jumped at the chance to write something where lucifer shows his desperation to be with chloe (after waiting literally thousands of years, no less) a little more openly.
> 
> not a native english speaker, not beta read.
> 
> enjoy! comments make my day.

_Apparently, you’re the only reason I’m here._

_I thought what we had was real._

_It’s far from a curse. It’s a gift._

_I’m not even a person. I’m a thing._

_You’re not the gift, Chloe – that is._

Round and round and round the carousel went, like it did when she’d first seen his face.

She was used to it by now, after Rome, and Eve, and Michael, and every other bit of celestial nonsense she had had to deal with since Lucifer had entered her life. Well, sort of. Finding out you’re a _literal_ miracle, made specifically for the Devil himself, that wasn’t just a normal Tuesday. Not even for Chloe Decker.

Her wineglass sat nearly untouched on her couch table. Booze had never helped, anyway. She fixated it instead of drinking, failing to quiet her thoughts for long seconds. But really, what was she trying to accomplish here? 

Running away, pushing _him_ away, overthinking every little thing and wallowing in her own misery… That had also never helped. It had brought them Kinley, actually, and demons running around in LA. 

She would not make the same mistake twice.

_You’re not the gift, Chloe – that is._

Talking. Talking to him had always helped. 

As soon as the thought had formed, an intense wave of longing washed over her. She missed him. She missed his stupid smirk, his solid, warm body against hers, fingers tentatively caressing her back, voice hushed and awed. So very real, and not forever lost to Hell. She _missed_ him. And she really, _really_ needed to talk to him.

She was still good to drive, thanks to the untouched wine, but it was nearly – one in the morning? Already? _How?_ Still, he’d probably still be up. Should she just go over to Lux? Would he–

She very nearly jumped when her phone started vibrating on the table. She turned it over, and it was Lucifer, of course. Speak of the bloody Devil. She couldn’t help her grin when she accepted the call.

“Lucifer!”

“Detective, I– I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

The subtle strain in his voice made her sit up straighter immediately, wiped the smile from her face.

“No, Lucifer, you didn’t actually. I was just going to– Nevermind. Is something wrong?“

“No, well– Yes. Detective, I– I need to talk to you. And I know you have no desire to see me right now, and I understand, I do, and it’s the middle of the night, I know, but I– I just need to.”

His voice broke on his last words, and his obvious despair made her stomach twist. Had she done this?

“Okay, Lucifer, it’s alright. I’m here, I’m listening.”

A shaky breath on the other end of the line, then another.

“Detective, first of all, I’m so sorry for what you have to go through. Because of me, again. That _bastard_ Michael, and now this… I’m _sorry_ , Detective. I wish it weren’t so.”

She wanted to interject something, anything to stop the pain that bled through his voice, but he was talking too fast.

“When I first found out about it, we had just gotten together for the first time. It– It crushed me. And it led me to do things that hurt you very badly, and I’m so sorry for those, too. I hope I’ll have the chance to properly explain, one day.”

He’d found out after– Wait, what things? Vegas? _Candy?!_

“But, Detective… I know I have no right to complain, and please know I would go back to Hell again in a heartbeat if it meant I was ensuring your safety, but– Chloe. I’ve missed you. _So much._ Being in Hell felt… different after knowing you. Too lonely.”

She could barely make out those last words, and something in her chest constricted. He’d never sounded so distressed and forlorn before. She was well aware he’d never show that much weakness to anyone else. 

Amenadiel was right. She didn’t see her desires reflected in Lucifer, she didn’t see some perfect guy that she was inexplicably compelled to adore, she just saw _him_. An imperfect, hurting, deeply scarred, unspeakably beautiful soul that had somehow found its mate in hers.

And she wouldn’t, couldn’t hold what his Dad had done against him. After all, Trixie only existed because of God’s intervention. Her daughter lived because she lived. That alone made all the craziness worth it. 

That, and that she was stupidly in love with the angel currently on the verge of breaking down on the other end of the line. 

“And Detective, I– I know this is not what you want, and I shouldn’t say it, and not on the phone like this, and I’m– I’m screwing this up again, but I– Chloe. _I love you._ I’ve been in love with you for years. Thousands of years, if you count Hell. I love you, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. And you’ll never have to see me again if that’s what you want, but I just needed to say it. Even if I already blew my chance. I love you, Chloe.”

He was silent after that, and her heart just about stopped.

_Lucifer loved her._

He _loved_ her, and she loved him. Nothing else in this literally god-forsaken world mattered, and she had to tell him immediately.

“Lucifer?”

“Yes, Detective?”

“Would you mind coming over or–“

_WHOOSH_

Ah yes, _wings_. She’d really have to get used to angelic modes of transportation. She could just make out his silhouette behind her front door, and felt a pang when he didn’t enter unprompted. She pushed the feeling down and crossed over to let him in, and there he was.

He looked at lot like he’d sounded, hair dishevelled, suit jacket and vest gone, chest heaving, wings a glowing, shivering mass behind him. She blinked, and they were gone.

“Detective?”

“Lucifer. Don’t you want to barge in like you own the place?”

He frowned in the way she found terribly endearing, but made no move to come in.

“Oh for… Come in, _please_. Do you want some wine?”

Finally, he strode past her, stopping in the open space between her kitchen and her couch, as rigid and tense as she’d ever seen him. He turned to stare at her, raking his shaking hands through his hair, and suddenly she was reminded of a meeting in an interrogation room several celestial disasters ago.

“No, Detective, I don’t want _wine_. I– Forgive me. What are we doing here?”

He was terrified of what she’d do, what she’d say. Terrified she’d send him away for good. She shouldn’t have that power over him, over the _Devil_. Nobody should have that power over anyone, but it seemed like they were long past that.

_Oh, Lucifer._

She quickly erased the distance between them and clasped his hands in hers, heart aching at the way he looked at her. Like his life depended on the words she’d say next. Maybe it did.

“Lucifer. Amenadiel came up with some interesting theories during our case.”

A snort.

“Did he, now?”

“Lucifer… You saw how that nun fawned over him. They were all like that. Just how regular people fawn over you.”

“So… Nuns have the hots for my brother? Good for him, I guess, but I don’t see what that has to do with u– With me.“

Another frown.

“Amenadiel thinks they saw their love for God in him, reflected back at them. And he thinks that… When everyone else looks at _you_ and fawns over you, you reflect their desires back at them.”

“That’s… Where are you going with this, Detective?”

_He loves you, and you love him. Courage, Decker._

“I _don’t_ see that. I don’t see my desires reflected back at me when I look at you, Lucifer. I just see _you_. So, I– I don’t think that explains everything, and I can’t promise I won’t freak out again, but I– I trust that what I feel is real again. Lucifer, I _love_ you, and I’m tired of things getting between us, tired of missing chances. We might never know what all this actually means, but… I don’t want anything to come between us, ever again. From now on, whatever it is, I want to face it with you. Together.”

The most radiant of smiles transformed his features, and she leaned in quickly to taste his happiness and kiss it off his lips. For a second, he remained stiff and shell-shocked, but then he opened up to her kiss, wrapping his arms around her tightly. The smallest sigh escaped him, and she rose on her tiptoes to get closer to him, resting her hands at the nape of his neck.

When she felt like it was possible to stop kissing him, she rested his forehead against his, eyes still closed, mouth stretched wide in an effervescent grin.

“You know, I never wanted Amenadiel to be right quite so badly, Detective.”

She opened her eyes in time with him, and he hid not one thing in the warm, dark brown of his eyes.

“Well, he was right before, wasn’t he?”

He huffed, then sobered a little, and pulled her even closer to him.

“Detective, I… I thought I’d lost you.”

Her heart beat erratically, and she needed to reassure herself as much as she needed to reassure him. Because they had lost each other one too many times before, had come close to missing another chance, yet again. But not this time.

“Never again, Lucifer. I meant it.” 

She cradled his face in her hand, and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes immediately. Instead of replying, he just exhaled tremulously, and Chloe brought her other hand up to touch his face as well. 

“Chloe, will you just hold me for a little while?”

His voice was brittle and cracking, and her heart constricted once more. How many years did he have to survive without a single kind touch?

She embraced him as tight as she could, pressed a kiss onto his neck just to feel him shiver, and stroked his hair and his cheek, over his back and down his arms, and again, until he all but melted under her caress.

“Forever, Lucifer.”

He pulled back to search her eyes with his, opening and closing his mouth, seemingly unable to find any words. After a few seconds, he gave up, simply cradling her face in both his hands with the lightest of touches, smiling beatifically at her.

“ _Chloe._ ”

They’d found each other. He was here to stay, and she’d pour all her love into him, and try and make him forget there ever was a time he was lonely. They’d take on whatever may come, _together_. That was the only miracle that mattered.


End file.
